You never quite know what to expect with award shows. Some turn out to be slower than slow with acceptances speeches reaching duller than duller heights, while others turn out to be simply delightful and even a little hilarious. I'd have to classify this year's 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards to be somewhere in-between. The host, Ricky Gervais, surprisingly provided ample comic relief without becoming brutally offensive, yet there were still some parts that kind of lagged during the three-hour ceremony. Three hours is a long time, so we've boiled it all down to the top 8 need-to-know items of the night.


Ricky Gervais Compares the Globes to Kim Kardashian
I think it’s safe to say we were all prepared to suffer at the wrath of Gervais’ legendary humor. But this year he decided to trade in his hurtful jibes for a more on-point comedy routine and did something that was sure to win us all over: insult Kim Kardashian. He commented that the Golden Globes is to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton – it’s less classy and easier to pay off. Sure, some could find the joke a little obvious, but everyone appreciates a good Kardashian joke, especially in light of her recent 72-day marriage. I mean, if anyone deserves to be the bud of humor, it's that girl.

George Clooney Steals Brad Pitt’s Cane
When George Clooney came out to present Moneyball as one of the films up for Best Motion Picture, he brought with him Brad Pitt's trusty cane. As many of you know, Pitt tore his MCL in a minor accident and has been walking around with a cane ever since, causing quite a tabloid stir. So Clooney decided to poke a little fun at his friend by walking out onto the stage with said cane. It was a quick stunt, but it helped to further solidify my undying love for Clooney. Not only is he exceedingly handsome and undoubtedly talented, but he's also incredibly charming. Talk about a triple threat! That Stacy Keibler is one lucky lady -- am I right, girls?


Morgan Freeman Reminds Us Why He's Awesome
This year, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association decided to grant Morgan Freeman with the Cecil B. DeMille Award, in honor of his incredible contributions to the entertainment industry in both film and television. And let's face it, he deserves the recognition. Freeman's played everything from a Shawshank prisoner to the personification of God -- and he's absolutely believable in every single one of his roles. This really isn't news to anyone, but it's still nice to have HFPA give credit where credit is due. He's awesome, his movies are awesome; 'nuff said.

Jessica Biel Wears A Wedding-Like Dress
The media has been abuzz for weeks now with the news of Justin Timberlake's engagement to Jessica Biel. And while JT's grandmother assured us that the rumors were true, we've yet to receive confirmation from the actual couple. So as a way to further our curiosity, Biel of course decided to wear an off-white almost wedding-like dress, but what does it all mean? Was this a sign that wedding bells are definitely in her future? Did she wear such a dress just to toy with us? It'ss sending a message, people! I’m sure of it. And so the speculation continues...

Ryan Gosling Is MIA the Entire Night
I know, I'm just as devastated as you are by this news. I thought he would definitely be there, especially since he was up for Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama, but alas, he was nowhere to be found. Don't get me wrong, Gosling looks good any day of the week, but I was really looking forward to seeing him dressed in a tux and giving the cameras that winning smile of his. So where was he? What kept him away from our adoring eyes? I demand some sort of explanation for his absence. Now, who's with me?

The Dog Steals the Show during The Artist Acceptance Speech
The Artist seemed to dominate in many of the categories, but when it won Best Motion Picture Drama, the cast brought the film's adorable pup onto the stage, making him the immediate center of attention. Trust me, the easiest way to lose an audience's focus (or my focus) is to put an animal in our line of vision - and that's exactly what happened. I'm sorry, but I have no idea who said what during the acceptance speech. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to watching pug YouTube videos on the internet.